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None of this gets us to happiness and it does not make for a healthy relationship. Once we get to this space we are so entangled in the attachment we are out of balance, often reacting irrationally. We can become clingy, controlling, domineering and extremely emotional and insecure all in a desperate attempt to protect our attachment. We become hyper focused, obsessed, and often even addicted to the person or thing that we have attached ourselves to. Our mind, in an attempt to save us from that potential loss, sends us into survival mode. It is in the moments when we fear that the person or object we are attached to does not meet our expectations, or may be lost, that we experience moments of great emotional suffering and pain in our life. Once we become attached, we give away our power to be in control of our own happiness.Īs the attachment grows, so does the fear of losing the very thing we desire. You are the one who decides whether you are happy or not in any situation. However, nothing outside of us can truly bring happiness or security. We begin to perceive that as something we need in our life to make us happy.
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Once we have attached to someone or something our perspective changes. Once we believe we need someone or something in order to be happy, we give away our power to the object of our desire. Attachment moves us into a state of need. The more entangled we become, the more we lose perspective. Our energy and our thoughts become disproportionately focused on the thing or person we are attached to.
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Once we become attached, we become entangled. When we are connected with someone, they become a part of our life and us a part of their life that is connection. We often confuse connectedness with attachment. When we live with non-attachment we can go with the flow more easily, and are not as impacted emotionally by the punches life may throw at us. When we let go, we are releasing our need to control and releasing the conditional love that comes with attachment so that we can love unconditionally, being okay with whatever path life takes us down. When we can hold and release, we are able to build healthy connections. Now, the real question is, "Why would the average person strive to live with nonattachment?" Isn’t human experience all about being attached to each other, to those we love? Well, yes and no. It shows that the soul has purified itself and evolved mentally. In Buddhism living with detachment is a sign of spiritual maturity. Many spiritual teachings and traditions teach about the benefits of living with non-attachment. Our attachment can become so strong that we actually lose sight of the bigger picture. Ideally, life is a cycle of holding and letting go, but we become so attached that we can no longer see clearly. We attach to our belongings and physical items that we love. In relationships, we attach to our partner.